PRC Thing-over!!!

I'm over with going back and forth the school just to get my credentials. Wheew! At least, now I can breathe as a sign of relief.. hahaa! Yesterday, it was one of those marvelous hours of my nursing life. Thudding heartbeats, I was so anxious that my anxiety level had risen bigtime high! Lahat na ata ng klase ng mukha nakita ko dun..Nagssightseeing din ako syempre, but nothing compares to my boss. hehe! Ang haba ng pila, nkkasuffocate ang kasikipan ng daan dulot ng mkapal na dami ng tao..ang init pa, gutom, uhaw, pawis ang inabot ko dun! PRC looks great outside but it's actually a dilapidated establishment inside. Lumang PUP ata ang tawag nila dun. Ni hindi ko naenjoy ung lunch ko sa KFC sa dami ng inaayos. Good thing nakapagfile nko. Board Exam na lng at hopefully maipasa ko yun.. Im praying really hard for it..and I'm sure marami ring nagppray para sken.. I was dead tired yesterday but it's all worthit. =)

confused.

im dead tired.
its more of "pagod" in everything i do. sana lang wag ko makalimutang huminga.it signifies death..haha..
seriously speaking, i dont know why i am at this euphoric state of mood.im sad. confused. catatonic. lethargic. im getting nearer into losing consciousness.
but there's one good reason enough to make me alive and breathing. it's HIM. the Boss knows how to make his Miss smile at insults, bad comments, compliments, tiresome activities and all that negative criticisms thrown upon his princess. I dont know how was he able to do that. And i dont even know what makes him hold on to this relationship I regard as 'tale as old at time' kind of loving.
I miss him,actually. maybe that's why im euphoric right now. I wanna go home..stay with him for hours in Never ever Land..Sad to say, everything just dont click in time. Grrrr!!!! I wanna stay with him in a fantastic world.I miss those times when he plays my hair with his fingers, untangling them, the way he holds my hand as if he never wants to let go, those times when we stayed the longest time alone, those times when i made him eat carrots and he vomited alright!, that day when we took a picture which will be brought to Italy with love..hahaha!,and those days when he sings his heart out for me while holding a guitar, him hugging me from the back, and me sitting beside him with both feet on his lap.
I miss him..that's the common denominator.

I am disappointed.
Wish i could go home tomorrow..

EMO???

i hate emo! eeeewwww!!!
people with bangs?? they suck..
people who are all in black.. they fuck..
but i have nothing against them..
they just don't fit my clothing style i think..
hahaha!
pakelamera..
being an emotional person and singing the emo genre songs..that's emo for me.. because that's what i see around me..
and the faces?? they all have piercings, with guitars around their shoulders trying very hard to show everyone that they are at the emo side and that they are haertbroken, they're bound to love, they could play their kind of music which they can't.
i dont know how people would react upon reading this.. but this is my opininio and i dont think anyone could stop me from talking here. hey! this is MY blog.. ehe. im not into war. im friendly, as they all say. :)
as i was saying, i hate emo's. and if i would be given a chance to say something to an emo, this is what im going to say..
'people who love Rock rocks, and people like you Sucks..'
peace out!


excess:
i dont have an idea which bands are emo in genre.. but i love
dashboard confessional
the used
blnk 182
fallout bOy
incubus
Guns and roses
bon jovi
and....................
hmm...
let me think about the last one first..okay? haha!
(wish these aren't emo's and boybands. :) )

Philippine Insights

I think it's much better being a baby. At least you don't experience the crashes of poverty right under your nose. What am I talking about??? Yeah. . I hate the president. . which makes me direct to the point.. aha! I dunno how am i gonna tell her and the people around her that the Philippines is now close to its end (I think). Oil price hikes, a rise on all the necessary needs of people. I dunno what's with those Arroyo cronies that they're so blinded by the power and the fame thay get upon being mentioned with the President's name. News all over the country is being flashed every night and what do you expect from ordinary people like me?? Im only 2o, but I've experienced the ups and dows of life, tho not all.. but I was repeatedly stabbed and hit by it.. Now that I'm a college graduate, I felt like the world had collided and Im pretty sure that the country's going to have a hard time rising agin like it used to be. The past Presidents did well i think, except for those who're now Arroyo cronies. I wanted to search the net for Malacanang e-adds i could send my grudges to.. but ad to say i dunno how..
Hmm..posting this blog i guess would sumhow make me feel better..
I don't want to open the tee-vee anymore.. It has always been about that little ugly woman they all call THE PRESIDENT, but for me, she's just a witch trying to scheme on everybody doing lots of graft and corruption that i wish she would die right at this very minute. haha! too bad i couldn't cast a spell on her coz i ain't a witch!

PAST sentiments.

confused.
startled.
exhausted.
about to give up.
If these weren't concrete descriptions of d emotions rushing in me, then wat are these i'm feeling? I feel alone. Its been hours since i indulged with this past time.. That wud bring me to the past that haunted me. I hate it when all my efforts are being called as useless. Had it been not for this feeling that's lurking in me, i won't bother explaining. I have a lot of better things to do but i managed to talk to this guy just so i cud clear myself from those unpleasant impressions about me that's running in his mind since d day i failed to keep a promise which i didn't want to happen, i already made it clear to myself that pleasing him wud bring me to an unwanted feeling of guilt and remorse if ever i failed in doing what i promised him, and its exactly what happened. Confused as to what to do with the nagging truth that "they" are back and it's high time that i do a lot of thinking about which way to go. this has been long overdue, i think. i've been thinking of giving them all up and to just sulk in the corner not wanting them to be near me again. But just the same, i fear of losing thier attention and affection, if there is.it's as if this choice is almost close to perfect. I'm tired. I think i've had enough and i wanna take sum rest. and last thing i wanna hear right now is his voice, and a love song that wud surely be of no use in nursing a bruised heart.
i just stare at the ceiling blankly. Images started to appear like a scene in a movie of loving, leaving and coming back again. I'm being indecisive. Well, i'm not so good in making decisions. i'm not even sure if i can, myself. Most decisions i tend to keep a hold onto fail to meet the success i have been aiming to at d very beginning of it. And who wants that kind of result? Here's this guy of w/c i don't know what are his plans for us, or if he has plans for us is yet another question. Then here's this guy hu haven't seen me yet, but keeps on insisting that what i did was a big deal. Dunno if i shud be believing him, it's like i can sense mockery in his voice. He kips on asking why d hell did i leave. I gave him the best answer i cud give but he wasn't pleased at all. Now here's the other one who's so excited to experience being close to me. switness it is, that's his only reason. Dis year's a fruitful one, i've met, loved, and hurt a lot. But stumbling upon d same old mistakes makes me wonder. Why d hell are they happening to me over and over agen? then, i came to an answer, it's becoz i never learn.

the BOSS =)

who would have thought that after a long time of waiting, staring at other people's faces, figuring out who was i meant to be with, it finally went into one sole thing, he's STILL the one i wanna be with. we're almost three years and im happy with the way things are going. I've had enough of these guys who just want to play while i wanna get serious and im at the verge of being desperate. Haha. we fooled ourselves for almost a year trying to find ourselves. . but at the end of the day, it's still the boss and miss. =) i love him. and im so happy that he's into my life once again. **

GRADUATION DAY! =)

Ang aga kong nagising. 3:12am??? Goodness. Hindi naman ako sabik nyan?? Pero 12am nko nakatulog dahil dinaldal pko ng walang humpay ng butihin kong kapatid. Ayan. Kakain na lang, wala pang gana. Excited nga kasi. Bilis kong maligo, tutal pagpapawisan lng din naman. Ang init kaya dun sa People's Center!! Huhulas ang make-up NILA dun!! NILA?? Pagdating ng alas-singko nagpaayos na din ako. sus! Ang aga kong mambulahaw ng kapitbahay! buti na lng mabait si Auntie. Xa make-up artist ko mula pa nung isinali ako sa sagala nung 1993. hahah! Labo. 5.33 natapos un! tnease pa ata toh'ng buhok kong wlang direksyon. Aito na. . 5:45 nilayasan ko na ang madilim naming bahay. Madilim dahil baka pag binuksan ko ang ilaw ea batuhin ako ng unan ng kapatid ko. sayang and make-up. 6:08 ata kami dumating sa venue. Lutang ako. Di pa man namamaga na paa ko. May dalawang band-aid, tig-isang hinliliit. Wlang kwenta, mukhang walang silbi.
Una kong nakita si Arnie. Group leader namin na laging may nginig factor. Nagtitili ako ng makita ko si Tal. Ahahah! picturan. Daldalan. Pamfrendster ba. Tagal ni mae. on the way pa lng.Picture2 kasama ni taro, iris, tel. . atbp. mga prends. na mamimiss ko sa ayaw sa at sa gusto ko.

Eto na un ea. MARCH 26, 2008. Isang umagang kayganda. Katapusan na ng kalbaryo nating lahat. Puyatan para sa case study na irereject lng ng mga c.i. Iyakan dahil sa dami ng gastusin. Tapos na din ang paghingi ng allowance sa nanay mo, bawat hingi mo ng dagdag ay may katapat na kasinungalingan. Tapos na din ang paghingi mo ng pambayad sa mga 'bills' sa skool para may panload at may pantxt sa bf/gf, maraming natapos ngayong araw na toh. Tapos na din ang pangongopya mo ng sagot ng katabi mo lingid sa kaalaman mo na ikaw ay SET A at sya pala ay SET B. Sisisihin mo pa prof mo kung bakit di kagad sinabi. Tapos na din ang pagtambay sa kantin ni Nanay (di ko alm pangalan nun!) kahit na may nakalagay na 'this canteen is a place for EATING, not for STUDYING". Dahil pasaway ka, bingi ka sa paalala nung babae sa kantina ni Nanay (di ko alm ang pangalan nun!). Tapos na din ang pagpila mo ng pagkahaba-haba sa mistulang hanging bridge ng admin. office. Nasaksihan mo kung paanong ung resibong dating de-sulat ea naging computerized na. Nasaksihan mo din kung paanong ang isang makutim at kulay uling na tuod ay nagkaroon ng makintab at mamahaling sasakyang pwedeng panlaban ng paramihan ng nakurakot. At nasaksihan mo din kung paanong dumami ang uban sa ulo ng classmate mong akala mo matalino, un pla sadyang ubanin lang.Nakita mo din kung panong hinipuan ng mental patient ung kaklase mong nagmukha ng baliw kakaaral sa behavior ng mga pasyente ninyo. At buong buo mong nakita ung pagtatalik ng dalawang lalaking baliw sa WARD B ng dinutyhan nyong ospital. Nasuka ka sa dami ng pinagawa't pinasulat nung 3rd year ka. At mas lalo kang nasuka na halos lumuwa na mata't laman-loob mo sa dami ng papel na inaayos para makapag-board exam ka. Tapos na din ang pagbababad mo sa internet shop hanggang alas-onse ng hatinggabi para lang tapusin ang term paper at process recording tungkol dun sa dalawang baliw na nagtatalik at dun sa nanghipo sa kaklase mo. Tapos na din ang pagsagasa mo sa bagyo para makauwi kagad galing duty, at lalong tapos na ang pagwworry mo sa naiwan mong cap, nameplate, apron, hairnet, scrubsuit at smackgown. At di mo man aminin, alam mong habang humihinga ka ay parte ng buhay mo ang salitang TOXIC. Ang pagbabasa ng pocketbook habang naghihintay ng pasyenteng isasalang sa OR?? tapos na. . at di mo na rin mararanasang mapukpok ang kamay mo ng c.i. na galit sa mga TANGA at BAGUHANG gaya mo. hahah! Ngaun, makakatawa ka na. Dumaan sa buhay mo ang maraming bf/gf. Kahit na buong college life mo ea taken ka, bakante ka o taken for granted ka, magpasalamat ka na din. Ngaung tapos ka na, bawat salita mo ay batas sa knila. hahaha si Llira ang maysabi nyan.

Kulang pa yan sa buhay nursing. Ang lahat ng yan, mamimis natin. Pero syempre, katapat ng pagkatapos ng lahat ng yan ea bagong trabaho. ang magreview para maipasa ang borad exam. at pag naipasa mo toh, mas MAKAKAHALAKHAK ka na.

Sa mga taong naging parte ng college life ko, SALAMAT!!!

sa BSN 1 and 2 B, kayo ang unang tumanggap sa akin.sa BSN 3 to 4-O kayo ang tunay kong PAMILYA. Kay Tita Norie at Tita Nora na walang sawang nagpapadala ng pantuition ko, hehe!, kay Lola Clarita na sobraaaang bait skin,Kay Tita Loida na sumagot ng grad fees ko,sa iba pang mga kapatid ni Tatay sa US at oZ, sa mga kapatid ni Mother dear, mga pinsan, kay Auntie Lyn na sobraaaanggg bait as in!,kay Tita Zeny na handang mag-abot ng buong braso kahit kamay lang ang kelangan ko, kay KAPITAN ONIO de LEON!! SALAMAT PO! Kay INANG ZENAIDA ko at TATANG ANDRES, laking tulong nyo sa akin! sa buong TAMAYO-SANTOS clan, u've been a BIG PART of my success! heheh. . Kay Llira na kung hindi nag-asawa ea siguradong kasama kong nagtapos kanina at kasama ko ngaung nagkakape.haha! Sa GROUP23 cum W, salamat! Kay Arnie na di nagsawang maging leader namin kahit maraming minimeet na deadlines, kay Mae na bestfrend ko, kay Kreng at Tel kung san ang pera nila at pera ko ay iisa,haha! Kay nelle na mayaman sa skills at ganda, kay iris na mahilig magpicture, kay tarroza na mahilig magbaon ng pocketbook para pampalipas oras, kay dao na kahit bagong lipat smin ea nag-enjoy naman, kay Pitong na Drug-handbook ng grupo,kay Lovely na bumasag ng thermometer ko,ky joana na di madamot sa resources,kay shiena na ubanin. . hehe! SALAMAT senyo. . tol ko kayo! Sa mga c.i. na di nagsawang paliguan kami ng sermon para matuto, salamat! sa mga tao sa admin, registrar's ofc, sa guidance, gwardya, utility lalo na si Mang John, thank U! sa lahat. .

at xempre, di ko pwedeng kalimutan ang TUNAY kong PAMILYA na saksi sa lahat ng ups and downs ko sa pag-aaral. kay Tatay na matiyagang naghahatid-sundo sa kanyang unica hija, sa Nanay kong matiyagang naglalaba,namamalantsa at naghahanda ng uniporme't baon ko pag may duty, sa dalawa kong utol na kahit nakakaaway ko minsan ea nanjan pa rin para sa akin, kay raah, ang pet ko,kay jowa dhang, na nagssend ng datas na kelangan ko para maging UNO!, kina Kuya Jonar, kuya Rey, Kuya ruben, Kuya BOy na mga bestfriend ni Tatay sa pamamasada ng trike at tinutulungan kami pag lugmok na talaga, at kay ate Myla na ngpahiram ng reviewers para sa board! At sa inspirasyon ko, sa mahal kong BOSS! Og, alam mo na yun! hahah! mahal kita!
Xempre, last but not the least, salamat kay GOD dahil kung di dahil sa talino't tapang ng loob na binigay nya, di ko makakayanan lahat toh. CONGRATULATIONS sa lahat ng BATCH 2008 NURSING GRADS NG BPSU! MABUHAY TAYONG LAHAT and goodluck SA FOONYETANG BOARD EXAM!!! MWUUUUAAAAHHHHHHHXXXXXX!!!!!!!!